new lights

In high school, as I loved Catcher in the Rye and dreamed myself on the edge of indie, I found myself coerced to read the book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which some of my friends touted to me as the Catcher in the Rye for the 90's. I didn't care for the book and if I were to read it today, I probably wouldn't have finished it, for I've lost some of my patience since then. However, back in high school, I was a more persistent reader, I suppose, and completed the book. So many years later, I don't really remember much about the book other than it revolved around a whiny teenage boy who loved the song "Asleep" by The Smiths (something that I do give him credit for). I also remember a passage in which he talks about how much he hates when people tell him to forget about his problems, for at least he's not a starving child in Africa. His response is that, though he is a fortunate kid, his problems are problems nonetheless, and must be dealt with. At that time, and still today, I find myself, like everyone else in the world, faced with numerous problems, most of which aren't so great in the grand scheme of things, but in the moment often seem like monstrocities. In the midst of my freak outs, I'm aware that there are people who have a lot more to deal with than I do. But when you're freaking out, that's not what you tend to focus on. And I find myself comforted by the idea that, since everyone has problems and each is conditional to his or her own life, it's okay if every once in a while, I find myself freaking out about whatever situation I've found myself in.

Currently I'm reading What is the What, by Dave Eggers, which is, simply put, about starving children in Africa. It is a beautifully written account of Valentino Achak Deng, who suffered through the civil war in Sudan, and as a very young boy walked across the country with hundreds or thousands of other children to refugee camps in Ethiopia. It is also one of the most graphic and difficult novels I have ever tried to read. Though I'm less than half way through, it's beginning to alter my opinion of the "at least you're not a starving child in Africa" response to my or anyone else's griping. While I really do believe that all people have things to complain about, it does help to put different problems in perspective. People are capable of so much. If ten year old boys able to walk barefoot across a desert with little food, dodging the attacks of lions and men hunting down any people considered Dinkas, then I am most certainly capable of getting through a day of work, no matter how bad a day it might be.