on resolutions, or it's gonna be a happy new year!

Honest New Years Resolution #1:

To look up more, rather than down (and still manage not to trip too much).


I never really believed in New Year's resolutions. Come January 1st, I would hear people throwing out the same resolutions—most often to go to the gym on a regular basis, to drink less or more—and while a few people may actually go through with these, I hardly recall any particularly meaningful or memorable ones. And also, if there is something you really want to do in your life, why wait until January 1st to start? Perhaps it was this thought that always stifled me from coming up with something I wanted to accomplish in the new year—I’ve never been great at coming up with ideas on command. Each year as New Years rolled closer, I would often feel awkward when people would ask about my resolutions, and would make something up, usually uninteresting, usually copying someone else's answer, just because it was better than saying nothing at all.

And then last year, it may have been spending New Years with my contemplative and questioning friend Sophie or the fact that I worked a boring job and had numerous hours to ponder over my life, I came up with an answer for the inevitable question, "So what is your New Year's resolution?" I realized it had been bothering me that, although there were recycling bins adjacent to the trash cans outside my apartment, I made no real effort to recycle. Empty water bottles and large stacks of paper usually ended up in the proper bin, but most of the everyday waste that could otherwise be recycled did not. So I bought a new trashcan and my roommate and I began to use the old one as our recycling bin, weeding out the paper, plastic or glass from our other disposables. Though we still have a lot of trash, we usually have just as much recycling, so I feel a little less wasteful, and thus a little better. And hopefully it has benefited not just my ego and my need to feel like I was doing something advantageous for the world, but actually bettered the world in a tiny way. It was a small thing, but it was something.

As I was attempting to make plans for this New Year's Eve, the question has once again popped up in my mind, "What will I tell people when they ask about my New Year's resolution?" I came up with a number of answers, so I felt prepared. But then on New Years Eve, when someone asked me to come up with a silly sounding answer, I was a bit stumped, since mine were all fairly serious. This brought to mind a story about climbing Masada that a rabbi had told when I was in Israel recently. Starting out at the bottom, looking up at the seemingly endless ramp, he said he felt discouraged by such an imposing undertaking. But he started up anyway, and while he was hiking, he noticed that just about everyone was looking down at his or her feet. He realized he had been doing the same, looking down for fear of seeing the how much of the trail was still ahead of him. He decided, rather, to look sideways at the view around him and was astounded by what he saw—the beauty of the new morning light on the mountains. More so than the hike ahead, I found myself looking down for fear of falling on my face, but perhaps he is right. Even if it means pausing for a moment, it might be worthwhile to look up from my feet once in a while and appreciate what’s around me.

And so, even more than keeping up with a blog, walking to work more, or curbing my shopping habit, I hope that I am able to keep this idea with me throughout the year.